Peaceful Home Birth

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On May 31, 2019, we welcomed Curtis Boy #3 in a beautiful water birth at our home. I give thanks to God for such an incredible and empowering blessing. Both of our older two children were born in a hospital. The backstory of those experiences helps explain my choice for a home birth this time around. If you’re looking for the birth story only – scroll to the end, it’s a long post! Like any process in life, there’s so much that went into this one decision.

I gave birth to my oldest son, Trent, in December 2009. It was a fairly simple and uncomplicated process. I felt “different” inside on Christmas Day, a shift that was new and impending. I labored from that evening until the next morning at home. His dad and I played music, listening to Stevie Wonder, Earth, Wind and Fire, and Miles Davis as we timed my contractions on our laptop with excitement and uncertainty. We went in to the hospital around 6:00am, and he was born at 4:41pm after 30 minutes of pushing. The hospital used Pitocin early on to speed up my progress when I was not dilating quickly after being admitted. I received an epidural and delivered on my back in the bed. I was naive to the process of childbirth and didn’t question any decision made by the staff on call. As a 23 year-old first time mom, I had no idea about anything I was experiencing. Check out my post To My Firstborn for more details about my pregnancy with Trent and the significance of his conception.

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Almost three years later, the birth of our second son, Robby, was a bit more complicated. I went to the OBGYN for my scheduled visit at 39 weeks. I was measuring small and she sent me to get an ultrasound for confirmation. The ultrasound showed his size at 36 weeks, so they sent me to Labor and Delivery for a non stress test. The test revealed his heart rate dropping slightly with contractions, and I was told I would need to spend the night so they could induce labor the next day. I called O’Bryan to pack a bag and come to the hospital, and called my mom to pick up Trent, who was with me for my appointment. They administered Pitocin early the next morning, and I progressed quickly, fully dilated and ready to start pushing around 10:30am. For those that don’t know, Pitocin is a synthetic version of Oxytocin, the hormone your body naturally produces to induce contractions. It requires an IV and continuous fetal monitoring, limiting your mobility and consequently increasing your risk of further interventions. Pitocin increases stress on your baby and your uterus, and it makes contractions more difficult to manage. The World Health Organization believes that administration of Pitocin to stimulate labor is often used inappropriately.

I elected to receive an epidural shortly after the induction began. Since Trent was delivered within 30 minutes of pushing, I assumed Robby would be similar. The doctor on call informed me that he was in a posterior position, meaning his face was pointed up instead of down. After about two hours of pushing while laying on my back, I was told they need to use forceps to help guide him out. The doctor automatically performed an episiotomy to allow extra space so the forceps can expand, and attempted to pull Robby out. For the next few hours, each time his body was rotated and I had a contraction, he would flip back over and stay in the birth canal. At this point the doctor explained that I would need to have a C-Section if he wasn’t delivered soon. I let him know I wanted to give birth vaginally and would continue pushing. I was exhausted and frustrated, not knowing why he wasn’t out yet. My body was tired and the epidural had worn down. I felt pain with each contraction and tried to stay focused.

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Finally, at 3:37pm, he entered the world. There was an open sore on his scalp where the forceps had scraped him, and the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. O’Bryan cut the cord and Robby was placed on my chest. I cried tears on relief and thanked God that he was in my arms. I was able to have the catheter removed and walked to the restroom about 20 minutes later. I remember one of the nurses telling me, “If you just did that, you could have a natural birth no problem.” I had never spent the night away from Trent, and missed him so much by that second day. My feet were swollen and puffy, a symptom I had not experienced during my pregnancy, and I was so ready to get home.

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Fast forward a little, and I began to explore some persisting issues that were becoming harder to ignore. I noticed a change in my pelvic area, as one hip felt higher than the other. This caused some discomfort when I walked and tried to sit up straight. I went to a chiropractor and initial x-rays showed that my pelvis had a 28mm shift. A normal shift, not causing concern, would be 2-3mm. He asked if I had experienced any trauma, such as a car accident or injury from falling. The only thing I could think of was my experience giving birth. When I explained the process to him, he asked about Robby. Before I answered, he questioned whether he had any allergies, reoccurring illnesses, and cognitive or behavioral concerns. At this point we knew Robby had a 3 page list of food and environmental allergies. He also had tubes put in after multiple ear infections that did not respond to heavy antibiotics. Lastly, he is a strong willed and high spirited child by nature (see my post Little Wolf Pup!), but definitely has some power struggles with authority and extreme outbursts in anger when upset. The chiropractor explained that the use of forceps and a traumatic birth experience like Robby had can greatly affect the development of neurotransmitters in the fragile brain of newborns. I was concerned, and committed to researching further.

Unfortunately, forceps used incorrectly during birth can have permanent effects on children such as brain bleeds, cerebral palsy, and developmental delays. Thankfully, Robby did not experience these extremes, but it is much more common than I realized. There are a host of additional issues faced in our modern world that also fuel brain imbalances, including: heavy vaccinations, excessive recommendation of antibiotic use that destroys gut health, increased screen time and technology addiction, and the prevalence of processed foods that are devoid of nutrients and filled with additives and chemicals. Once I started looking, I realized there is so much information on these topics and their adverse affects on our children. O’Bryan and I began a journey of personal growth towards improving our family’s mental and physical health. I plan to do a post on this later detailing all of the changes we made, and are still striving to make.

At this point, we are basically as earthy/crunchy/hippie as possible. All current trends aside, we believe in simple living using foods and herbs that occur naturally on God’s earth. If man made it, we use caution. Our kids eat lots of veggies and fruits, and very little meat and processed food. As a disclaimer, we are not perfect in regulating their food intake and certainly sway from the ideal when we are out running around or at family’s house, etc. Our goal is finding a balance and eating a clean diet as frequently as possible. We look to natural healing methods rather than prescriptions and doctor’s offices. Our kids take probiotics and fish oil daily. We encourage them to drink lots of water. We use apple cider vinegar and coconut oil for skin issues. We also use essential oils when applicable. So when we decided to try for another baby, I was very interested in a natural birth experience.

Home birth was something totally new for us, as we didn’t know anyone who had chosen to deliver outside of a hospital. Midwifery was actually still an illegal practice in our state of Alabama for the first half of my pregnancy. Not surprisingly with regards to the deep South, this legislature stems from ongoing systemic racism designed to keep African American women out of work in a time where they were sought after and experienced midwives. News updates detailing the changes that were occurring helped spark my interest in the topic even more. At 9 weeks pregnant, I went to the only hospital in our state with a midwife on staff for my initial lab work. I enjoyed talking with her, but still felt uneasy about the restrictions and requirements of birthing in a hospital. She let me know that insurance will not allow them to use birthing pools for water births, which was something I really wanted. Once I left that day, I dove into researching everything I could about pregnancy and delivery.

This turned out to be such an awesome experience, because I realized how much I didn’t know with my first two pregnancies. I am one of those “crazy” women who love being pregnant and enjoy the entire process. I’m blessed not to have morning sickness or any of the issues that many women are faced with. I’m truly grateful for the ability to carry children and grow life in my womb. I recognize it is an honor not all females receive, and I will never take it for granted. So once I opened my eyes to all the details of childbirth, I was consumed with the thirst for knowledge. I read technical articles to understand the requirements of the reproductive system and brushed up on the definition of terms referenced. Then I started reading birth stories and gained encouragement hearing from women all over the world. The Natural Birth Support Group on Facebook is a great place to see birth pictures and pick up tons of info. I also recommend The Birth Hour podcast (I only chose episodes that related to my interests), and spent lots of time on YouTube watching a variety of peaceful home birth videos.

I will offer a disclaimer that, yes, hospital births are a necessity in certain situations. High risk pregnancies require a different model of care, and Cesareans are a viable option for those who have no other choice. However, so many women are given a C-Section that do not medically require one. I watched a lot of documentaries during my pregnancy, and “The Business of Being Born” totally opened my eyes to the practice of hospital deliveries. The sad truth is, doctors make money delivering babies and they will often force procedures on uninformed patients that are not necessary or even in their best interest. Our bodies are fully capable of delivery children unassisted and without medication. God created them to do so, and His creation is good. The state of Alabama has the second highest maternal mortality rate in the United States. The United States has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world, and it is steadily increasing. Women of color are three times more likely to die during childbirth due to structural racism and traumatic practices stemming from healthcare provider bias. These are scary facts and we need to fight for change in the next generation of child bearers. Understanding the urgency of what these statistics mean for all women encouraged me to begin the process of becoming a DONA Certified Doula. Along with increased concerns around obstetric violence and lack of consent in the birthing area, my passion and purpose has been sparked to work hard in the movement toward women’s rights in labor and protecting the sacred space of childbirth in it’s natural way.

I want to encourage other women to consider the option of a natural birth at home. When our bodies are allowed to progress on their own, the process is effective and empowering. During prenatal care, my midwife came to my house and we sat on the couch for visits. She stayed as long as needed, often over an hour, as we discussed my pregnancy and she answered any questions I had. She wanted the details of my previous experiences carrying and birthing children so she could prepare herself to care for me adequately. There was no paying to park in the hospital deck, sitting in a waiting room, peeing in a cup, and being rushed through a visit because the office is full of other patients competing for busy doctors’ time. She still monitored my blood pressure, heart rate, pulse and temperature. She measured my fundal height and listened to the baby’s heart beat with a fetal doppler, recording all information in an online portal that I could access as well. We discussed specific milestones at each stage of gestation, and followed the same model of care as an OBGYN with regard to frequency of visits. I did go to the hospital for two ultrasounds and any necessary lab work.

For me, this was such a refreshing experience. In the comfort of my home, relaxed and at peace. The process allowed me a level of mental clarity that, I believe, positively affected my pregnancy as a whole. Especially toward the end, when visits are frequent. Despite distractions in my personal life that included an entire home renovation, a very busy schedule resulting from two working parents in different cities with only one working family car, and unexpected notice that my job of ten years was beginning the process of outsourcing our department on an unspecified timeline, I was never anxious or stressed to a point that it affected my ability to carry this child well and past term.

I ended up going 6 days beyond my due date (which is simply a guess date) and there was no cause for concern from my midwife as long as my vitals remained healthy and all symptoms of preeclampsia, etc were screened for often. She did not suggest an induction or pressure me to make choices that would go against my body’s natural progression. I was encouraged to walk daily, eat nourishing food and rest. Even though I continued working until the day before I gave birth, this was the case with each of my pregnancies, and I knew to listen to my body and pay attention to any signs that meant I was overexerting myself. I did consider the possibility of another posterior baby, as Robby was positioned. This time around, I researched thoroughly and watched videos about natural breech birth. I received adjustments from a Webster-certified chiropractor weekly, and followed the daily exercises from the Spinning Babies website. My midwife encouraged me to do some stretches each night and bounce on the yoga ball frequently. She also assured me that it is absolutely possible to deliver a posterior, or even footling breech, baby naturally. It simply requires a change in laboring positions to allow gravity to help move the baby down. She advised that we would utilize a squatting position, or birthing stool, and I would need to be prepared to slowly allow my body to stretch and not push before it was ready. Having the certainty of an educated professional that I could call or text at any time with questions or concerns gave me such peace and confidence. It also opened my eyes to the fact that Robby’s birth could have been very different if I were more informed about delivering naturally. I thank God for every experience, good or bad, as it all works toward developing who we are and what we stand for. I would do it all again over and over for my little angel!

On Friday, the last day of May, I woke up at 3:30am with a strong wave. I had been experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions higher in my belly that week, and I remembered my midwife explaining that contractions signaling the start of labor would be lower. I got excited because these definitely felt low. I had lost my mucous plug the day before. After about 30 minutes of tracking them consistently while laying in bed, I went downstairs to do some laundry and clean the kitchen. Within a few minutes I was having to stand still and close my eyes to breathe through them. I woke O’Bryan up and let him know that I felt our baby boy was coming today. I texted my doula around 5:00am and gave her a heads up that I was in early labor. She planned to take a shower and head over, arriving around 6:00am. By the time she got to our house I was unable to hold a conversation and simply focused on letting each surge pass. My partner attempted to distract me and make me laugh, but I was in a different zone at this point. He and my doula started setting up the birth pool while I stayed to myself and processed the experience internally.

I made my way upstairs to our bathroom and stood up in there for about 30 minutes. While observing me and tracking the frequency of contractions, my doula called the midwife to let her know it probably wouldn’t be much longer. Labor progressed so fast that I didn’t have a chance to call her myself and make a plan for her arrival. With each surge I felt a strong need to cross my legs while standing up. I experienced a heaving sensation and felt somewhat nauseous until they passed. I had to close my eyes and pray through every one. I tried to remember that this pain I felt would be over soon, and a precious baby would be in my arms. My midwife later explained that I felt an urge to cross my legs because my bag of waters was still intact, therefore each contraction caused it to bulge into the pelvic area. I was never checked for progress, so I don’t know what level I was dilated to, but I believe I went through transition standing up alone in our bathroom. I didn’t have a birth photographer, but my sweet doula snapped a few pictures here and there during this whirlwind birth. Next time I definitely plan for professional pictures to document the amazing experience of bringing new life into this world. If you’re on the fence, I say get a photographer for sure!

At this point the birthing pool was almost filled, so I went ahead and got in. Based on birth stories I read, I expected immediate relief and peace from the warm water. It did feel very comforting, and took a lot of pressure off my lower body, but I was far enough along at this point that nothing would be completely relaxing. My doula was boiling water in the kitchen, and O’Bryan was dealing with an air conditioner leak that was caused standing water in the garage. I was experiencing contractions back to back, and focused on closing my eyes and meditating between each one. My entire time in the water was spent in a state of deep prayer and connection to God. I was thanking him for this opportunity, and asking him for strength to bring our child out confidently. Birth as a whole is such a spiritual experience, and I felt closer to God than I have in my life. My doula was letting me labor alone, and checking here and there to make sure I didn’t need anything. While I leaned over the side of the pool, I felt a powerful burst, and let her know my water just broke. She texted the midwife, who was in traffic on her way to our house, and updated her as she went back down to the kitchen for more water. Just a minute or two later, my body shifted itself from leaning over the pool to sitting up with my knees open, and my baby’s head came out. Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER) definitely kicked in and I never intentionally pushed him down. As I was laboring I had been vocal in a sense of long moans and intentional breathing. My doula ran up from the kitchen because she said this was a different sound, a low and guttural noise that those who have witnessed a woman in labor would recognize. It also turns out this was the sound that would wake Trent and Robby up down the hall, and Robby later described it as a ‘warrior yell.’ O’Bryan didn’t hear anything from the basement, but he had a strong sensation to come upstairs and check on me. He was washing his hands in the kitchen when my doula called for him to hurry and catch the baby. We know that God urged him to leave when he did, or he wouldn’t have made it in time to participate.

My doula called the midwife on speaker at this stage so she could listen in and give any advice over the phone if needed. Since she wasn’t able to monitor the baby’s vitals or check his statistics, she asked me to please try to move out of the birthing pool and deliver him on the bed, just in case. I felt an instinctual assurance that he was okay and we had no cause for concern. However, in my midwife’s interest, I agreed to try and stand up. My doula held my arm and supported me as I stepped over the side of the pool. As soon as I got one leg on the ground, our baby’s body came out. O’Bryan was kneeling at the edge of the pool, and reached over to grab him as he slid out. I thank God for his timing and divine intervention. Daddy was right where he needed to be to provide a safe entrance for our child into his loving and secure hands. He put the baby to his chest and my doula placed a towel over him. We heard the baby cry and I knew he was healthy. O’Bryan said he immediately locked eyes with him and was so alert, staring intently at his face the second he grabbed him. We were able to embrace the effects of birthing without an epidural, and enjoy the baby when he is allowed to enter the world wide awake and fully perceptive of his surroundings.

Trent and Robby were now at the door to our room (pictured above, stretching!), and O’Bryan handed the baby to me. I walked a few steps over to the boys and introduced them to their brother. They were able to meet him within seconds of his birth, and this was such a special experience for me as a mom. I then carried him over to the bed, and my doula put down a towel for me to sit on. There was a small spot of blood on the floor where I was standing, and she wiped it up with a paper towel. I held the baby on my chest and we snuggled together under warm blankets for about ten minutes until the midwife arrived. I felt the most beautiful combination of euphoria and contentment, soaking in the power of birth and the connection with this child I carried for the past nine months. My midwife was sad because this was the first birth she ever missed, but she was also thankful that I got to deliver unassisted and know without a doubt the power and capability I hold as a woman. She set up her supplies while I nursed the baby, who immediately latched and received colostrum. I delivered the placenta while nursing him, and it was so quick and easy. My midwife laid it out and showed the boys how it works and explained what its function is. I’m grateful they had the opportunity to see this powerful and life-giving organ that had been supporting their baby brother’s development in the womb. I’m also grateful for minimal bleeding and no issues with hemorrhaging or tearing. I consistently ate two dates per day during pregnancy (sometimes more!), and personally believe this helped control blood loss in conjunction with my body’s natural tendency. There’s great research on consumption of dates for expecting women, like this article from MamaNatural. Dates stimulate uterine contractions and reduce the possibility of postpartum hemorrhage. I also drank red raspberry leaf tea (tones the uterus) from my second trimester on, and used the Gentle Birth tincture (without Blue Cohosh) from Mountain Meadow Herbs for the last 5 weeks before my due date. I definitely had a fast and productive birth experience!

O’Bryan texted both of our moms, as no one even knew I was in labor. As they headed to our house, I continued to bond with the baby, and he stayed skin to skin with me for the first few hours of life. O’Bryan cut the cord once it had stopped pulsing, and my midwife performed the newborn exam. He was perfect, healthy, and happy. Eight pounds even and 20 inches long. It was so special for our family to be crowded around our bed watching the baby in his first experience earth-side. I still sit in my room and stare at the spot where he was born, soaking up every beautiful memory and trying to never lose that feeling of joy and contentment. I’m so thankful for the experience, for a healthy pregnancy, for a completely natural delivery, and for the love of O’Bryan, Trent and Robby to be poured into this new soul as soon as he came out of the womb.

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There were no unnecessary hospital interventions, bright lights and sterile environment, immediate cutting of the umbilical cord or rushed newborn exam that takes the baby off the mother’s chest. Research shows that the hormones released in these first moments of life are so beneficial to the infant’s ability to thrive. They relieve stress and stabilize the baby’s heart rate, temperature, breathing and blood sugar. They encourage a continued attachment between mother and child, initiate successful breastfeeding habits, and assist maternal healing. The effects of skin to skin immediately after birth, meaning the baby is naked and placed directly on the mother’s chest, then covered with a blanket, are continued and observed well into childhood.

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My midwife and doula cleaned up their supplies, drained the birth pool, started laundry and cooked my kids breakfast. They brought me a plate of fruit and some Gatorade. They made sure I was comfortable and left us to bond with the baby. He was born at 7:44 am, which made my labor a short 4 hours in total. It was definitely intense, as the entire process was crammed into a small amount of time, but I am overwhelmed with amazement at my body’s mental and physical ability.

I also want to note that my recovery from this homebirth was remarkable. For the first 3 days I didn’t do much other than nurse him and relax. Even if I wasn’t sleeping, I was physically resting, and stayed away from stairs and any lifting or other exertion. I drank lots of water and ate mostly fruit – with some occasional slices of pizza. I’m blessed to have an awesome partner that reminded me frequently to stay in the bed (I’m a little hard headed!) and loving children who would run and tell their dad if I tried to get up and do laundry. My mother in law and mom spent lots of time at our house cleaning, cooking and running errands. I thank God for a solid and loving support system. I didn’t need a single item from my postpartum stash of perenial balm, soothing spray, tucks pads with witch hazel, herbal sitz baths, or afterbirth tinctures. I had no swelling and no soreness. I bled very minimally and within 3 to 4 weeks was down to an extremely light flow requiring only a thin liner each day. I did have a small tear that my midwife stitched up after birth, but she said it was obviously just a reopening of my episiotomy cut from Robby’s birth that didn’t heal fully. It was too precise to have been a natural tear from this time around. Providing further testimony that, when you let your body progress naturally and don’t force pushing or work against gravity with your birthing positions, your anatomy is made to stretch and accommodate the precious life being born. I’m so grateful that I was able to enjoy the fourth trimester and focus all thoughts and efforts on bonding with my baby boy.

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We sold our first family home in July of 2016. For the next two years we spent time between a relative’s home and a studio loft downtown. My dad passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack right before Christmas in 2017. After that, we stayed with my mom full-time to help provide support as she grieved his loss. It was a big adjustment for our family since my sister and nephew also live with her. In June of 2018 we bought our new house, and spent the next year renovating it ourselves (with the help of my sister, mom and O’Bryan’s uncle). So many times we thought repairs were almost complete, and a setback occurred or a new project surfaced. I was rushing the work in an attempt to get our family settled in a space of our own again. I wanted things to happen on my timeline, and God kept showing me that only He was in control. I worked full time, and O’Bryan started a new job right before we bought the house. He went from self-employment with a flexible schedule to 12+ hour days doing physical labor often out of town. Our plan for him to do most of the work was totally disrupted.

After a long process of personal growth and development, we finished renovations one week before my due date. Our family had endured nearly three years of being uncomfortable, out of place, and exhausted. I texted our agent to set a up showing for this house on a whim the day it was listed. I met him on my lunch break and we walked through once. When I left, I called O’Bryan and told him I felt really peaceful there. Despite the fact that it had pink carpet throughout, wood paneling, gross bathrooms and no updates since the 80’s, I had a strong reassurance that it was meant for us. We had been outbid on seven properties that spring, but I knew this one would work. All in God’s timing, the stars aligned and I was able to give birth to our third baby boy in a loving and comfortable home.

I learned so much and feel so empowered. I’m thankful my boys got to experience a natural home birth and different model of care than what may be the norm. I pray that they become involved and supportive fathers like their dad is one day. Although he had no knowledge of anything other than hospital births, he never questioned my desire to do it differently and he expressed full confidence in my choices and ability. I am so excited to finish training for my DONA Certification to become a doula and assist others in their birthing experience. I ask God to use me as an inspiration for women who are interested in pursuing the option of a home birth. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I would have ten more babies just to ride that emotional high again! Do your research, read birth stories, and know that the process is just as much mental as it is physical. If you are confident in your body to do what it was created to do, and in your strength as a woman – the carrier and birther of life – you will cherish the euphoric memories rooted deep in your soul.

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